loser

oh! girl....
i need freedom..
because you give yourself seldom..
please don't come closer....
i don't wanna be a loser....

oh! girl....
just go away...
i will have my own way....
because i don't wanna be a loser....

oh! girl
i need my own space...
please don't give me a chase...
its getting late...just leave this place...
because i don't wanna be a loser....

DOUbt..

i live in a place..
 no one z here to give me a  chase...
no one z here to jolt...
no one z here to  assault...
 i smile with a fear..
no one z here to hear...
no one z here to cheer..
i live in a place...
no one z here to shout...
so i have a doubt.....
so i have a doubt.....

साँझ

ये जो अपने होठों में समां रखी हो समा...
लगती है जैसे लालिमा ...
ये जो आँखों में है तेरा सुरमा...
हर पल है जैसे एक हसीं लम्हा...
इन लम्हों में छुपी उन शाम की यादों में .....
बसा है बस तेरा नाम...

 

TENDER

i was lost
i was lost somewhere..
which i couldn't define..
which i couldn't remember.
it forced me to linger..
am i still so tender..
i wasn't sure enough..
but needed to be tough..
just need a tender glance,
to redefine my stance.

GlorY

holding the air in my hand...
is this like holding  the sand...?
i tried holding both...
both just sneaked away...
but had to choose one
 to hold her memory..
Settled down conclusively
but the strong wind 
eroded me ....and my story....
the sand of memory 
wasn't their in her glory...

a long chase.....

got a coin .....although it was mine..

someone pulled my shirt ..

with a hand having no 'lines' ...

just carrying 'coins'

to count for his fate

his palm was near my hazed eyes

i couldn't speak as

i had a mouth filled with smoke

one of my hand carrying its cause..

and my second hand was all going to be the

countless shine which i can prefigure on

the little kid's face....

all i encountered the change in the state of my 'mind'...

but it wasn't the time to step 'behind'...

just to save a penny for my next 'cigarette'.

although i was standing nowhere to decide his 'fate'...

but i could have been the reason

of a shining 'face' ....

who had a long 'chase'..

and at last i had a deep 'relief'...

because at least i wasn't the reason for his 'grief'.....

 

tears

strolling down in a line staright
told his bearers upright stay
if it came tumbling down sideways
tells the story of quiet pain
whichever way it takes to be
it takes the burden of heart along
never defying its duty to keep
the eyes clear of their thorns
but the reason behind these carriers stay
enough to stimulate another there
both together just tells the tale
of love embedded in every spare
but still the reason behind it hurts
when all time u r responsible for thee
the existence ask the ques again
is this what u were meant to be
is this what u were meant to be

FUll Moon

if i ever get down...
if i ever put myself out...
just be with my thought...
stay with me till there
is the night of darkness ...
just be with my harshness...
it would be your kindness..
because then only i'll be
your full moon ....
and i will bring it soon...
so ........


just be with my harshness...
it would be your kindness..

lost CALMness

oh!
is this the morning i have been waiting for?
came out from the room of darkness...
grinning and snarling..
saw outside with my twinkling eyes..
the twinkling stars were lost ....
but a star with its vastness
was there still near the horizon..
waiting to show his harshness
but for now it was there to redeem the lost freshness..
but was it enough to fill me up with calmness..
that i have been waiting for?
but it was still far enough .
for me this morning was still like the evening..
where i could see that
i was getting pushed away
to lost in the darkness of my snatched calmness..
i am all alone sitting solitary ,
asking myself
is this the morning i have been waiting for?

road of darkness.......

ambling down the road of darkness.......
had started my journey
from the crowd of harshness..
started kicking away the pebbles
scattered down the road side...
it reminded me ...
of what i left behind..
i was carried away with the
thought of its kind..
now i was far away
from the crowd of harshness..
from the road of darkness...
i was in the amid of a kind
was far away
to come out of blindness
now i was far away
from the crowd of harshness..
from the road of darkness...

LIFE DIaries

accepted to all
is something new to happen
i halt and ask
is that me
and the answers are loud
yes its you
i halt and ask is that real
and the smirk replies
believe it to be
i halt and ask is it right
and the air screams
carry it along its meant for you
and then i halt and ask
would it last forever
and
not to my surprise, no one answers
such are life diaries.

NAME

i have been waiting..

waited so long..

to put into something.

that moved me along...

seasons changed...

hazes moved away...

but the reasons remained the same

bcz still i keep on fighting for a name..

that makes my memories fly 

in the far sky...

but down the earth 

it makes me cry..

BELief

she is my own....
and am not alone...
all may come and go
she has come for never to go
all may stand against
she stays with hands fold
repeating it again and again
into my ear
"keep ur belief intact
m urs
and u r not alone".
with that hope i move along
with head high and spirits untold
that no matter
who comes and go
she has come to make it through.

डर

अभी कुछ  खोया  सा   हूँ  तुझमे ,

ठहर जाने दे 

कुछ सोया सा हूँ तुझमे ,

सो जाने दे .

सुरों से पिरो दे इस पल  को ,

कोई राग दे दे इस वक़्त को  

ऐ रागीनी

सो जाऊं इन सुरों के सहारे 

डूब जाऊं तुझमे, इनके सहारे 

करवट बदलूं ना 

कुछ और सोचूं ना

इस  डर से की ,

कहीं खो ना जाए तू इस पल से ...

the wailing wind

i wrote ..
you smiled...

i have my words...
from your smiling world..

you have your moments....
shared from mine...

drifted my boat....
stopped at the instant...
where i could hear ...
someone whined....

i jolted suddenly...
stared around me...

got stuck ...
it was you...

asking for "what made her to whine..."
she held my hand
clutched my arms...
came near me...
screamed...
and wailed
and said.....
"idiot because you were mine......."

DOVE

sitting solitary in the corner of my mind...
was she a faery...?
or was i blind...?
who couldn't figure out her kind....
though i couldn't find....
she was the dove .....
asking me to remind....
who is my love....?
and that i used to follow her behind..

REjoice

let be me your only world...
let be me your only voice...
because i know,
 am gonna be your solitary choice....
because am gonna give your world
sheer  rejoice...

u call it meer selfishness of mind
or my duty behind
but this is the way i have grown to be
with ur never ending beauty

hence nothng else wuld sooth the mind
 unless u
let be me ur only world
let be me ur only voice.

wings

got stuck with her blinking eyes...
staring up the twinkling stars...
got the wings.....
am flying high...
shaded the leaves of
drowning tears....
got the world to come up
with new high....
oh!honey...i got the shadow of yours
in the stirring sun rays...
started firing up the haze...
of my wide open eyes...
its been hurting..
and u keep on crying..

काली घटा

सुन ले मेरी ये पुकार ....

है नही ये ललकार ...

कह रही है मेरे .

जीवन की हृद्यताल ..

वक़्त की चाल में फँसा है

यह माँ का लाल .

डरता फिरता हूँ मै 

इस वक़्त से 

वक़्त में छुपे तूफ़ान से

काली घटाओं के आगोश 

में लिपटे ..

आशुओं के समान ..

कठोर बारीश की बूंदों  से,

सुन ले मेरी ये पुकार ....

है नही ये ललकार ...

कह रही है मेरे .

जीवन की हृद्यताल ...

उम्मीद थी मुझे 

उस पूनम की रात से ...

फिर भी तड़प  थी इस बात से ....

की कहीं काली घटा ....

छीन ना ले जाए ...
इस चन्दा को उसकी रात से ....

EMPTY hands

she grizzled when saw my empty hands,
i drifted myself ...
went close to her..
still she was snarling....
as she was waiting for something ,
which i was deprived of that..
though i had nothing 
with me, i could have given her.
i just closed my eyes...
i was screaking inside ...
moved my hand ...
with fear ...
held her tight....
i slanted her right...
hugged her as she might defy...
she begged not to leave...
placed her lips close to my ears...
wetted me all along my shoulders 
with her tears...
got a divine strength ...
as it was careful witness 
of my cheerful love..without grimness